I had no idea how drastically my life was going to change now as I walked with the Master.
One afternoon as I sat on the piano bench in my livingroom, the Lord Jesus came into the room. It’s odd, I never feel fear when he comes, not that he comes often because he doesn’t. But when he does, I have no fear reaction, which truly amazes me. I mean …he’s the MOST HIGH GOD! And I feel comfortable in his presence??? Anyway, that afternoon he spoke to me one sentence,
“Forsaking all, come follow me.”
Tears are flowing again as I recall this scene and the impact it had on me. I didn’t even have time to consider an answer, immediately from deep within me my heart leaped and cried, “YES LORD!” I don’t have to wonder why the apostles left their nets immediately when he called them. There is POWER in his words, and it has a tremendous impact on you. My whole spirit, soul, and body immediately cried out, “YES LORD.” And I have walked with him ever since. And I did not forget the words, “forsaking all.” He would call upon me to live those words.
But there were first things to address. I was deeply involved in the occult. What had drawn me to the occult was the undeniable power I saw in it. I was reading everything of Edgar Cayce’s that I could get my hands on. I was into astrology, reincarnation, and all that was “New Age” or out-and-out occult. Elie and Van tried to tell me that this was evil, but I didn’t believe them. How could it be evil? There was the evidence of supernatural power there. That validated it! They argued, but they could not convince me.
One day I was at their house and Elie asked if I’d be willing to listen to a teaching by a man by the name of Derek Prince. “Sure,” I said. Why not? I was voraciously hungry for all they would send my way. I was devouring every book they gave me to read. I was deeply, deeply hungry to know all I could know about God. And the occult, I believed, was of God. I just didn’t know at the time …which god.
Elie put the tape on, and I started to listen to this man with a very British accent. He spoke “as one with authority.” On he went, until he came to the place where he quoted a Scripture:
“There shall not be found among you anyone
who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire,
or one who practices witchcraft,
or a soothsayer,
or one who interprets omens,
or a sorcerer,
or one who conjures spells,
or a medium,
or a spiritist,
or one who calls up the dead.
For ALL WHO DO these things are an abomination to the Lord…
Deuteronomy 18:10-12
For ALL WHO DO these things? Are an abomination to the LORD? Not only are these abominable to God, but all who DO them are abominations to God?
The Word of God hit me like a bomb. I, even I, was AN ABOMINATION to God???
The Scripture pierced deep down inside of me and I came under “the conviction of the Holy Spirit.” If you’ve never felt this, there’s no way to tell you what that’s like, except that it’s very painful. You suddenly “see” whatever it is the Lord is convicting you of.
“I had no idea…!” I said to Elie and Van. “I’ve been deceived.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
That same afternoon, Elie came to my house with me and I gathered all my occult books and everything I could find that was of a “New Age” or occult nature, we lit a fire in the fireplace, and burned it all. I’ll never forget the look on Elie’s face as he said, “This does my heart so much good!”
“Mine too,” I answered.
But that was just the beginning. I didn’t know anything about the occult as defined in the Bible. Elie had instructed me that the most important thing in life that I will do is feed in the Bible every day for the rest of my life. So I had begun, but I had not read this far yet. I knew nothing about what God has to say about the Satanic kingdom.
Of all the sins that God says he detests, involvement in the occult is the one he hates the most, and it’s the one carrying the most severe ramifications. Why? Because it’s “spiritual adultery.” We are to take every single need, every request, every question, everything …to the Lord, for HE ALONE is our God. To seek knowledge or experiences, by going to a fortune teller or medium or spiritist, is to make direct contact with Satan, for he is “the god of this world” (2 Cor 4:4) He is the enemy. He speaks through his servants, his mediums, his fortune tellers, his astrologists. And he has one purpose, and that is to destroy you.
At the time, I was taking a class at a local university, and the next time I went to class the professor decided to cancel class and take us to a talk about transcendental meditation. The whole class went. We actually took part, each sitting on the gym floor and following the instructions of the instructor. I actually felt something happening to me, but I didn’t make the connection between this and what I was learning about the occult. To say I was blinded, is to say the least. I marvel now that I didn’t make that connection. But on the way home, “someone” said inside me, “Do NOT tell Elie and Van about this.” So I planned not to, thinking that that was my own thought, not a thought some demon spoke to me.
The next time I was at Elie and Van’s house, I had that strange warning again, “Do NOT tell them.” But for some reason, only God knows, I did tell them. And they erupted like Mount Vesuvius! I had just come out of the occult and already there was a demonic attempt to bring me back into it? Of course, as soon as they told me this, I realized what had happened, and as I write this I warn anyone coming out of the New Age or the occult, be alert for any demonic attempt to get you back, because it surely will happen. Satan will not let you go easily.
That same week, a cousin came to my door, a cousin I hadn’t seen in years. He was into some very strange ideas about the cosmos, and I discerned that it was all in that New Age area. I told him, “I’ve just come into something new and I want to see it through. Maybe we’ll talk about this later when I’m sure of what I’m doing.” So he left. …
He’s dead today.
Time went on and I continued to learn about both the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of “the god of this world. Elie and Van fed me book after book after book, and they all said that there is a curse that comes upon those who involve themselves in the occult, and the curse will afflict them and their children down to the third and fourth generation. So I had my work cut out for me. God sure knew what he was doing when he put Elie and Van into my life. They had been trained BY Derek Prince, so they were able to greatly help me as I approached God asking for deliverance from whatever I had picked up as I dabbled in the occult. And not only me, but I had to investigate even the generation before me, because those things are passed down.
One night, the Lord came to me in a dream. He said to me, “I want you to renounce totem poles.”
“What???” I responded.
“Lord, I don’t have a totem pole, and I’ve never had one. Why do you want me to do that?”
“Renounce totem poles!”
“Ok Lord, I renounce totem poles and I renounce any time I ever had contact with one.”
Then the Lord took me back to my young friend Don’s bedroom, where I handled a real totem pole he had made with a real Indian camp counselor. That was so many years ago now, I had forgotten all about it. Apparently, that’s when my drawing to the world of the occult had begun. I remember one other incident too, back around that time. I was at a girl’s house and they were playing “seance.” I don’t remember what happened because at that time I didn’t know what a seance was or what a medium was. But later that came back to my mind and I had to renounce that too.
Incidentally …she’s dead now too.
As I began learning about the occult, I became petrified at what I might have brought onto myself. The knowledge that anyone becoming involved in the occult will incur a curse not only upon themselves, but upon their children down to the third and fourth generation surely might explain some of the misery in my life. So I renounced every single thing that came to mind and determined to learn all I could about this subject, because I saw the tragedy it brings upon a family and I was desperate to start down the long road to being set free by the power of God from all demonic influence.
As I learned about family curses, or “generational curses” as they’re sometimes called, I began wondering if the misery in our family had any roots in the occult. So I began asking questions.
On my mother’s side? Absolutely. There were all kinds of occult “manifestations” that took place in my mother’s family, and in her mother’s family, and even in her grandmother’s family. The kettle on the stove would start singing …when the stove was off. There would be a certain kind of knock on the door, taking place when someone had died. My grandmother would hear the knock, and would know that so-and-so died. My mother herself had stayed at her grandmother’s house for a few days, and during the night a man appeared to her. Petrified, she cried out to her grandmother who said, “Oh that’s Mr. so-and-so. He often appears.” They had a Ouija board both at her mother’s house and at her grandmother’s house. And my mother had had several other supernatural experiences throughout her life. All of this was ample evidence to explain the unhappy lives of my mother’s family members. And mine.
Then I approached my father. He was not happy with what I was “into,” because it wasn’t Catholic. He was angry that Elie and Van were counseling me, because they had left the Catholic church. But I hadn’t yet, so at least he would talk to me. I explained to him what the Bible said about supernatural things in the realm of the occult, and asked if he or his parents were ever involved in anything like that. He immediately became enraged. With his voice raised and his face beet red he yelled, “My parents were good Catholics! We said the rosary together, we went to Mass every Sunday, my parents were good people!” I was dismayed, but I just let him talk. He had a brother who had died in an accident, another brother who had “tics,” a sister in a disastrous marriage, her life destroyed, so it was legit that I should ask these questions. After he expended his rage, he calmed down and said, “Well my mother told fortunes with tea leaves.”
! ! ! Enough said.
“Deliverance” was going to be a long process stretching over the next many years. On a few occasions, I actually saw the spirits when they would leave me. It usually happened when I was totally relaxed, as you are when you’re ready to fall into sleep but not quite there yet. That’s when the Lord would cast them out. I guess he needed to anesthetize me. I had no fear at all. One time, it was at that stage of “not-yet-asleep” when suddenly I saw one leaving me. My attention was absolutely fixed on this spirit. It looked like a man, his back to me, walking away out of my life. The Lord ordered me VERY sharply, “Let it go!” So I broke my fixation on it and I asked the Lord, “What was that?” He answered, “What did it look like?” I said, “It looked like it was dressed in what the priest wears, that white collar and all.” “Yes,” the Lord answered, “and what was he carrying?” I had noticed that he was carrying what looked like the work clothes my father-in-law wore when he was working at the factory. “Is that what it was, Lord? Work clothes?”
“Yes. It was a religious spirit of works!”
And from that day, my soul loathes anything “religious,” as in rites or rituals -which I believe the Lord also hates. Religion is man’s attempt to placate God by doing “religious” things. Being born again is God’s action on the human heart to change him from inside, not through rituals, but through a living relationship with the living God and the outworking of his Holy Spirit teaching and maturing you.
That was one of the many experiences I had as the Lord began a series of deliverances which would take place over the next many years. And the way I always knew that that’s what was happening is that the part of my personality that had been under the control of the spirit leaving …was totally released. The bondage was gone. And the change was always dramatic. Every time.
Why doesn’t the Lord cast them all out at once? I believe it’s because he has to prepare you first, to make sure you’ll keep your deliverance afterward. There is a passage in the Scriptures that says that when an evil spirit leaves a person, it will come back later trying to get back in and if it succeeds, it brings seven more like itself but worse (Luke 11:24-26). So the Lord waited until I left the Catholic church, and later set me free when I was sufficiently educated on what NOT to do ritually in order to “please” God, so that another “religious” spirit would not have opportunity to come back to enslave me in religion ever again.
And to make the point absolutely clear, the Lord gave me a learning lesson where I would actually see this play out. My husband’s sister was married to an alcoholic, and Carl was as much an alcoholic as I had been. He drank 24/7. So I began praying for him. I prayed earnestly for his deliverance, because I saw what a difference it makes in one’s life. One day we went out to the farm where they lived, to visit. Carl and I got into a discussion and he said to me, “I can accept that there’s a god, but it’s Jesus that I can’t accept.” I rebuked that spirit and he coughed. I had been told that when a spirit leaves, the person may cough, or cry, or scream, not always but you have to be watching for it. Carl coughed as soon as I rebuked that spirit.
A couple weeks later we at my mother-in-law’s house when Bob’s sister came in. She was glowing. She told us that Carl hasn’t had a drink in two weeks and he says he can’t even stand the sight of it. I was so excited I didn’t know what to do with myself. It WORKED! Wow! Just think what good we can do for others! It works! Carl is free!
Two weeks later …Carl was dead. The spirit came back bringing seven more like it and killed him.
I have told this story often, warning people not to get involved in “delivering” a person if that person does not belong to Jesus Christ. Carl had confessed that he could not believe in Jesus. I should NOT have tried to cast out that spirit of alcoholism while Carl was yet unsaved. It’s a lesson I’ve never forgotten. This is something we are NOT to try to do, except when directly and sovereignly led to by the Spirit of God. There have only been a couple times in my life after this incident when I WAS led by the Holy Spirit to cast out a demon, and saw success. It’s something I would never, ever try to do of my own volition.
The Way Of Suffering 